Wednesday, April 30, 2014
Day 29-Stormy Weather
I am writing this 29 days into quitting taking opiates. Last pill at appx 12 noon. a quarter of a tab. Followed by an immediate appt at my Dr's office.
It feels like I am in the middle of the storm, but i have a feeling that I am nowhere near the eye. In fact, I believe I am merely approaching the cusp of the eye.
Good things and harder things are happening on a daily basis. Notice I said harder things.... not bad things. Yeah Yeah Yeah I am not loving those happy, bouncy, sunshiny day types right now, but I will tell you something valuable that I have learned through this process.
Up to this point, I have found that one of the most valuable commodities to getting op-sobed, is attitude. Yes there is sick and sad and restless legs. Defeat of mind, sick souled, worn weary feelings of despair, but beyond all of those things if you are able to reach out and take some new risks it will take you some place.
Things are happening that I never believed. On 'H', not only did I feel dead, I was more than 100% sure I'd be underground by now. I hated myself for that. Sometimes still do, but I am paving a new way filled with hope.