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Monday, April 21, 2014

Day 22-Will It Ever End?

Today I started out by looking at my situation and wanting to give it a more practical approach. This is how I dealt with it when I decided to get off of Suboxone. As it has gotten more difficult over the last week, I have been very out of whack. 

Years ago I began to look at problems like a war. My life as the battlefield, my problems the enemy, and my coping skills were my armor. 

I realized that if unarmed when attacked by my problems, I will surely lose the war. 

By the end of today, feeling sick, depressed and hopeless, I am ready to surrender. I can only hope this means I am closer to feeling better. Why are things so hard when we are right in the middle of them. 

I am sick with myself for ever being a drug addict. I realize more than ever that I better sharpen my coping skills fast. I'm hardly rational and wonder what life will be like when opiates are a thing of the past.

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