Sunday, April 13, 2014

Day 2- It's a start..

Today was day 2 of seeing Dr. D. It was my first experience undergoing hypnotism. Only mildly aware f what to expect, I held out faith that the effect would be positive and not some hocus pocus weird magical type shenanigan. I thoroughly enjoyed it in his office. I laid in a comfortable recliner. Covered in a blanket and wearing glasses with flashing lights as well as head phones.

I came to--at the end and physically felt as though I had popped a few Valium. The physical sensation in my body embodied that of a strong tranquilizer.

Instructed to practice the ritual at home, I reluctantly played the Audio CD that he copied for me from our in office session.

The motivation came… never. I simply have made a choice to commit regardless of what erratic emotion I may be going through.

The session I did on my own reconciled the same results. My stress level dramatically decreased. However, I felt scared during the entire thing. At times I was able to completely block out the thoughts that someone would come into my house. The lack of control that cme with eyes being closed, and sound limited to earbuds stirred uneasiness. I overall successfully completed the session and have no regrets.

Excited and optimistic for tomorrow! My goal is to go into my day hoping to avoid taking my suboxone. I have decided that since I am not 'officially' on the weaning process I will allow myself ONE total from midnight 3-28 until midnight 3-29 as to keep from any emotional outbursts or feelings of desperation. It is simply an attempt to feel out the play by play of what's to come.

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