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Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Day 35: Insomnia=Irrationality

The exhaustion must be getting to me. Friday I slept about 5 hours. Saturday 3 1/2 hours. It's Monday morning and I have not yet gone to sleep. I remember this happening during my past detoxes. 

The nasty, creepy, crawly, feelings of bugs up and down my legs is one of the grossest feelings EVER.

I laid awake all night restless and sweating back and forth as if I had the flu. I did not think I'd make it to this morning. I have a doctor appointment at 2pm, so we shall see how that goes. (assuming I stay awake)

I was prepared to have insomnia at some point, but I predicted it would not come until I was completly off the meds. It must be these big jumps in dosage that I am taking. My dose on Saturday was around 3:30pm. My dose Sunday about 7pm, and about 1mg or less.

I held off as long as I could. 

I am literally holding onto hope with my life today. I do not want to give up and give in because of insomnia. I am telling myself the rational explanation to why I feel so hopeless is the lack of sleep. 


2 comments:

  1. Going through the insomnia dead zone myself. Only this time its one of the symptoms that goes along with Cirrhosis and not detoxing.....I guess. So I know how it makes you feel. Sounds like you are right on schedule in putting your monster to bed. It always dealt me a final "hale Mary" a sudden profound increase in symptom severity, then the day to day feel betters hit. I could actually feel the healing increase from one day/night to the other. Except for night sweats. I have had them for like 15 nights in a row after everything else settled down and I have had only one or two in a month time. Depends on how much and how long and how strong the junk.

    But the good thing is you can now start to see all of the hard work show. They may be small and hardly noticeable at first but they grow quickly. You have been doing much better than you have been feeling. Now you can TCB Take Care of business and start to work on you. Keep reaching out and ask for help when you don't know what to do. May God bless you on your journey.

    Jerry

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  2. Thx Jerry. That's a good way to see it. Appreciate the perspective!

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