Day 18

I slept in late today. My first decision was coffee. My 2nd decision was to cancel my day and get back in bed. 

Unfortunately for me, I made a commitment to model my eyes for a live web chat evaluation that my roommate needed to complete so she can start her new job. 

Thank God for that hidden blessing because by the end of it I had decided not to cancel my appointment with Dr. D.  

I decided on honesty being the best policy & let him know that my pill reduction from 3/4 to 1/2 was not going so well. I also admitted my overwhelming fear that my tapering is dangerously close to me being off of them for good. 

We made 2 decisions. 

1. My taper may be a bit fast, and to allow myself the flexibility of 1/2 or 3/4 for a few more days. 
2. To give my medication to a family member for dispersement. This seemingly should have been an obvious move, but I say better late than never. The cheating temptation only became overpowering the last few days. 

The decision to designate the pill control needed to be mine. Small victories...

LAstly I discussed my blog & the nervousness that comes w/ my candid experience, the fear of failure, & and the intense desire to reach out to suffering opiate addicts. 

Dr. D. encouraged me to continue writing, and as you can see I've decided today to keep it going. 

See ya on 19th day!